Van Stone's music can best be described as hard rock with a lot of humor and tongue in cheek mixed in. In fact, their song 25 Dollar Blow Job has quickly become a favorite of ours here at WickedInfo. Fans have been fortunate enough to see them play Vans Warped Tour and Bamboozle Fest, and if you get the opportunity you'll definitely want to check out this exciting and entertaining band. For more information on Van Stone head over to their MySpace page MySpace.com/VanStone or their website at GetVanStoned.com.
Q: What's the story behind the formation of your band Van Stone?
RVS: My fraternal brother Lonnie and I were asked to join Palmdale's #1 rock band Skirge, but we quit that lame band because Ricky Skirge is a total lame-o, emphasis on the "mo." We tried to join #2 rock band Windjammer, but because we couldn't play steel drums and didn't speak calypso, those guys said they couldn't use our services. So we decided to form our own group and quickly became the #3 band in Palmdale (out of 4).
Q: What's the hardest part about being the lead singer in a rock band?
RVS: The singing. It's really tough remembering all those words and staying in key, especially with all that noise going on onstage, and people throwing bottles and spitting loogies at me. I do try to nurse my throat with a doctor-prescribed whiskey and cigarettes, but it doesn't seem to do much. Also, sometimes tight pants can cause your balls to go to sleep.
Q: You've played at numerous festivals including Vans Warped Tour and Bamboozle Fest, to name just a couple. What has been your most enjoyable experience thus far?
RVS: Playing for the troops in Afghanistan. It turned out that they were Taliban and Al Qaeda troops, and we were part of a live psy-ops program to use rock music to drive insurgents out of the caves of Tora Bora, but I think those dudes really dug our sound,
and we might have taught them a thing or two about respecting women and crap.
Q: Your band has a song titled "25 Dollar Blow Job" (a favorite of ours by the way). Was there ever any thought to name it "50 Dollar Blow Job"?
RVS: Not really. I mean, seriously, you're just kind of throwing away good money if you're paying 50 bucks for a $25 beej. I guess if she was willing to cork you, or work the scrote, or go for the rim, it might be, at most, a $30 blowjob, but that doesn't really fit the rhyme meter of the chorus at all.
Q: If people buy a Van Stone CD and get Van Stoned because of it, will they get in trouble at work?
RVS: I guess it depends on where they work. Like I think it's totally cool if you were a shop teacher or ran a landscaping business or worked as a pole dancer at the Classy Chassis, but you should probably wait until after work if you're an air traffic controller or nuclear safety inspector or proctologist. But that's just a guess. You should probably read the OSHA regulations board where you clock in at work to find out more details.
Q: I read that you created your own form of Martial Arts called Rockate. How would you describe Rockate, and do you use it to protect yourself from male groupies?
RVS: After I was kicked out of Sensei Roger's dojo for "behavior reasons," I realized that, like Bruce Lee, I couldn't be hamstrung to any single jitsu, so I developed my own style, choreographed to the beat of my favorite rock tunes. Rockate uses the power of rock-and-roll combined with the fighting styles of various Martial Arts systems from around the globe as a method of defense against unprovoked attack. It's a lot like Tae Bo, but with better music. And it should only be used for good... or to pick up chicks.
Q: If you could have any band in the world open for you, who would it be?
RVS: Van Stone. Seriously, how cool would that be? You'd get twice the show for the same price. And it would also mean that cloning would have finally become a reality and hopefully the eugenics experiments I've been conducting in my mom's garage would have helped
pave the way for organ farming, cybernetics and human genome manipulation.
Q: What is your favorite song to play live?
RVS: "Show Us Your Tits (For Freedom)." It's not only an anthem for women's rights, but a rallying cry for liberty and equality for all mankind. Plus, our female fans flash their boobs when we play it.
Q: Do you have any concert dates planned for '08?
RVS: We're going to be playing the Bamboozle Fests on both coasts, but I wasn't really planning on bringing a date. I like to keep my options open, in case any backstage betties actually show up. We also have a "No Yokos" rule, so the band can't bring their girlfriends
on the road. Our shows aren't really a "date night" kind of activity anyway. Unless your date is already blackout drunk.
Q: We end all interviews with word association. I say "wombat" and you say...
RVS: I don't bat.