1) I fortunately have no erectile dysfunction, but my friend who does gave me a few of his Viagra pills. I was thinking of surprising my girlfriend with a "turbo-charged" version of myself the next time we make love. Good idea or bad?
Asked by Carl R. from Mesa, AZ
I think this would be a good idea, and would bring a little spice into the bedroom. (If you have any sort of cardiovascular problems, including high blood pressure, you should talk to your doctor before taking these pills.) It is up to you, however, to judge whether you should talk to your girlfriend about it first. Only you know your relationship well enough to know whether she would we pleasantly surprised or would be upset that you didn't talk to her first.
2) My wife has a fantastic body. She however insists on having sex with the lights off (or at least cranked way down). How can I convince her to loosen up her "wattage restrictions"?
Asked by John G. from Roswell, GA
It is very common for women to insist on only having sex in the dark due to being self conscious. It isn't a good idea to simply start having sex in bright light, because instead of enjoying herself she will be wondering if she is making a stupid face, or wondering if putting her leg in that position is making her hips look fat. You may laugh about this because she has a fantastic body, but this is how women think. We are a little crazy sometimes.
To help warm her up to introducing lighting is to start slowly. You can have the bedroom light off, but turn the bathroom light on to allow some light in. As a romantic idea that will shine some light on you two, you can light a few candles in the bedroom. (Just be careful to keep them away from the bed so they cannot get knocked over.) After slowly introducing a small amount of light you can bring up having sex during the day or with the bedroom light on. Just tell her that she is so beautiful and you love her body, and you would love to be able to see her when you are making love. The more you two have sex with the lights on, the more comfortable she will be.
3) The girl I love is a smoker. I however despise smoking with a passion. I hate the smell, the way it makes me cough, and I know all the harmful things it must be doing to her body. I cannot tell you how much I simply adore this woman. I'm mere days away from proposing to her, but I don't know if I can spend forever with someone who is a heavy puffer. What should I do?
Asked by Tim N. from Hickory, NC
You need to decide which of the two is more important; your hatred of smoking or your love for this woman. Only you can make that choice. It is true that, being a non-smoker, cigarettes smell bad and you can taste them every time you kiss a smoker. It is also true that they are harmful to the human body. Ultimately it is her decision, not yours, as to what she puts into her body. She knows what smoking does to her, but it is an addiction and it is not an easy one to break. You can voice your opinion against smoking, but understand that she has a right to her own opinion. If you cannot spend your life with a smoker you do not have to, but you do have to make the choice. My parents have been together for almost 25 years. My father detests smoking and my mother smokes up to two packs every day. I know that my dad can't stand it and he cringes every time he hears her cough because of it, but he loves her and he chose to be with her despite the bad habit.
4) While on a recent business trip I cheated on my wife. No need to remind me how vile this act was and being drunk was no excuse for me potentially destroying the best relationship I've ever had. My wife is an exceptional woman and deserves better. I don't know if admitting this affair to her would do anything but utterly crush her. Should I perhaps protect her feelings and not tell her about what happened?
Asked by Kevin B. from Cave Creek, AZ
Your wife does deserve better than that, but at least you know it. To keep this from her would be disrespectful and means that she is living a lie. There is no doubt that it will crush her when you tell her, but she deserves to know the truth. The only thing worse than you cheating on your wife would be to keep it from her and let her keep thinking that everything is okay when it isn't. Also, I'm sure that if you keep this inside the guilt will destroy you.
5) Wouldn't meeting girls at a bar be easier if all the single ladies who wanted to meet guys could wear some kind of "available" ring on their hand? If would definitely cut down on all of the awkward moments when I roll up on a girl just to have her dude squeeze in at the last second. Good idea or totally stupid?
Asked by Eric P. from Wixom, MI
I don't mean to offend, but that just sounds ridiculous. Women wear rings whether they are single or taken, so how would you differentiate between the wedding rings, promise rings, rings that simply match their outfits so they HAD to wear them, and your "available" rings? Honestly, what woman would spend the money on a ring to point out to everyone around her that she is single and to bring every single, horny man lurking after her?
When a woman you think is attractive walks into the bar just wait a few moments to see if anyone meets her. If not, simply sit by her and start a conversation with her. Don't send her a drink or use a corny pick up line. It's easy to tell if she is interested or just talking back to humor you.
6) My best friend is scheduled to be married next month. Everything was going swimmingly until I found out some rather heinous details about his fiancée's promiscuous past. Stuff so nasty I won't even repeat it here. I feel like it's my duty to tell my friend about these details, but I also don't want to completely crush him with the bitter truth. How should I approach this?
Asked by Logan Y. from Montreal, QC
The past is the past, my friend. If she was being promiscuous presently I would urge you to tell your friend before the wedding. Do you even know that what you have been told is completely accurate? If it is accurate, she may have already told him and he has looked past it. If these things are so horrible he probably wouldn't tell you about it. Also, it could be that he has decided that he does not want to know about her sexual past, which is common in relationships. Nobody wants to know the details of the love of their life's past sexual encounters.
I would suggest that you keep these tidbits of information to yourself. If he knows about them already and you run and tell them he will be pissed off that you are talking about his wife behind his back. If he does not know about them, then you will do nothing but upset him over something that doesn't affect him. As long as she is faithful to him and has no STD's, her past should not matter.
7) My girlfriend and I just recently broke up. It was her idea, not mine, and it's been a huge loss for me. To complicate things even more, we work at the same office. I can't avoid her if I wanted to because we're always crossing paths on the sales floor. Many times we even do presentations together. How am I supposed to get over this girl when I see her 9 hours a day Monday through Friday?
Asked by Dave H from Dover, CO
Now may be a bad time, but relationships with co-workers are never a good idea. Honestly, it will be extremely difficult or impossible to get over her any time soon if you two spend so much time together. The best suggestion would be to either take a vacation to get away and clear your head, or to find another job. If you two have been together for awhile and you still have strong feelings for her the vacation may not be enough.