1) I'm starting to think that being single isn't the problem, but rather more that dating is the root cause of the struggles of a bachelor. Maybe my approach is what's wrong. I've been thinking about doing one of those "speed dating" deals. Am I setting myself up for another disappointment or can a guy really meet someone of quality at one of those?
Asked by Jeff J. from Whispering Pines, NC
Being single is never a bachelor's problem. The problem only arises when you decide that you are no longer satisfied with the life of a bachelor. In the beginning, dating causes trouble for everyone. I don't know of a single person who has not struggled with dating. It's a right of passage that every human must go through in order to find their "special someone," so don't let your struggles prevent you from moving forward. All of the pain, irritation, crazy dates, and getting stood up now will make you appreciate your next girlfriend even more.
You can meet someone of quality at any location, even at speed dating. The great thing about speed dating is that you will meet several women interested in dating. You will get 5-10 minutes to talk to all of the women there, and the best part of the whole thing is that there are no strings attached. If you don't click with someone, then you just move to the next table. You don't have to worry about the awkward goodnight handshake with someone you don't want to call again. The worst thing that could happen is that you go home with some interesting conversations, but didn't click with anyone. Why not give it a try?
2) It seems like every male featured in magazines, print ads, etc, is depicted as having no chest hair (even Bon Jovi who was known for his mane of chest hair has "amazingly" gone bare). I'm not ready for waxing, and frankly, I'm not looking to re-enact a Steve Carell moment. Is there any hope for a guy who's just south of Austin Powers-like furryness?
Asked by Stephen H. from Grand Rapids, MI
There is definitely a shortage of chest hair in magazines, ads, television, etc. here in America. It is also true that more women are attracted to bare chests than to chest hair. I believe that this is true simply because it is what we see, rather than being attracted to it because that is what we like. I used to be one of those women who didn't like the chest hair, but after having a bit more experience I have come to realize that it doesn't really make a difference. My boyfriend has more hair on his chest than any other man I have met, and I think he is the sexiest man alive. If a women doesn't want to date you because you have a hairy chest, then she isn't worth your time. Any woman worth dating won't compare you to one of the bare-chested, gym residents you see on the cover of your magazines. You have more hope of finding someone that will make you happy because you are real, and you will care more about her than you do about your pectorals.
3) My girlfriend recently told me that she would like me to add some "dirty talk" to our intimate times. I'm so stumped on this one. I've tried a few out in my mind, but mostly I think it'll come off as sounding cheesy or even worse, poorly written porno dialog (yes, I know that's all there is). How do I possibly make myself sound sexy and not completely idiotic?
Asked by Joe F. from Seattle, WA
The most important part about incorporating dirty talk into sex is to just say what you are thinking at that exact moment. You can sit alone, trying to think about the perfect things to say and you will always feel like an idiot or that you are in a bad porno. There is no way to rationalize these comments, and the more you analyze what you are going to say the more scripted the sex will be. You don't have to come up with a witty remark. If you say what comes into your head as you are having sex, it will feel more natural to you and it will make the "dirty talk" transition much simpler. You could begin with just telling her that you like something that she is doing, that you like doing certain things to her, what you would like to do to her, etc. It's going to feel a bit silly at first, but if you are comfortable with each other you shouldn't have a problem.
4) Why is it that men think that the minute two girls start to fight that somehow they'll turn their aggression into a make-out session? I mean, yeah, that'd be great, but I still don't get why we make this assumption.
Asked by Tom O. from Chandler, AZ
It is one thing to hope that a "chick fight" will lead to the two women kissing, but it's quite another to just assume that the make-out session will occur. I truly do not understand the obsession most straight men have with two women kissing, but I do acknowledge that the obsession exists. It is perfectly normal to want two women fighting to lead to two women kissing. It is even normal to daydream about the two women starting to make out after watching two women fighting. Please do not assume that the make-out session is actually going to happen. We are living in the real world here, not a beer commercial.
5) So I know this guy (who definitely isn't me) and he partakes in a little "cybering," with other women who are not his long-time girlfriend. Considering that it's in the virtual and not real world, is this cheating?
Asked by Mitch C. from Hollywood, CA
It would appear that your "friend" is trying to get off on a technicality. Technically, cyber sex isn't cheating because there is never actual physical contact between the two individuals. If his girlfriend found out do you think she would feel any less betrayed knowing that all of his fooling around was done online? I'm sure it would make your friend feel like less of a man knowing that his girlfriend had to go elsewhere for pleasure, online or otherwise. I'm sure there is a thrill in meeting a random person online and engaging in cyber sex, and this encounter is definitely preferred to him meeting a random woman at the bar. His girlfriend would be devastated to find out about his late night activities, let alone if she were to come across some of the dialogue. Maybe he could find out what draws him to cyber sex and try to incorporate it into his relationship. Sending a couple dirty text messages back and forth during the day, then coming home to each other could spice things up a bit.
6) Giving into temptation, I recently went into an adult bookstore and while perusing the goods, I ran into my father-in-law. Not knowing what to say to each other, we both kind of nodded to each other and hightailed it out of there. Needless to say, it's been a bit awkward dropping off the kids at Grandpa's place. Is this one of those things I need to pretend never happened? How could I tell my wife about her Dad when I would seem just as idiotic admitting I was at the place?
Asked by Carl S. from Tampa, FL
Yes, it is awkward seeing your father-in-law in the adult bookstore. You seem to be forgetting that, along with being your father-in-law, he is also a man and an adult. It isn't idiotic that either of you are interested in pornography. It is simply unfortunate that you two ran into each other. This is a situation that you just need to laugh at and pretend never happened. You have no reason to tell your wife about it. No woman wants to know anything that involves both her father and anything sexual. We may be adults, but that is still our daddy. We don't want to know about him enjoying anything sexual any more than our fathers want to know about us enjoying anything sexual.