1) Your sex appeal is like the mystical Red Dragon - neither one exist.

2) Two things that sound alike: The capitol of Thailand and your favorite hobby.

3) The egg drop soup has more taste than you.

4) You possess a keen knowledge of sitting alone by yourself every Friday night... and masturbating.

5) Your waitress thought you were gay.

6) You're as brave as a pigeon, though only half as bright.

7) You'll regret consuming that 8-day old pork mess that we let sit out and subsequently called the "Chef's Surprise."