1) Parents House - Sure, no one can cook a lasagna as good as your mom. And your parents are super "chill" and promise not to get in the way. But really? Come on, in-laws and your first anniversary do not mix.

2) Denny's - The first couple years of marriage can be difficult with numerous expenses including student loans and paying off the wedding that was way more expensive than you thought it'd be. And if you wound up "miraculously" having a baby 6 months into your marriage as well, the expenses only multiply. So who can blame you for trying to take your wife to an affordable anniversary dinner? In this instance, it's best to steer clear of the Moons Over My Hammy and go with another choice (a picnic in the park, perhaps).

3) Strip Club - Maybe you're hoping your new bride can spice things up by learning some pole dancing moves, but in reality if you take your wife to the strip club on your 1st anniversary you'll probably wind up with your marriage spiced up with her right fist to your left eye.

4) Exes Memory Lane - You and your wife are still getting to know each other's personalities and histories. That's a good thing. Taking your wife to where you used to hang out with your ex and showing her the alley where you lost your virginity to the "woman" with an adam's apple... not such a good thing.

5) Library - Paper-related items may be the traditional gift for a 1st anniversary, but that doesn't mean you should take your bride to the library to celebrate the event. Even if your plan is to spend the afternoon reading a Dr. Phil book to her.

6) Off Track Betting - Your bride took a gamble marrying you so you figure that taking her to an OTB is perfect symmetry. Plus, you can make a fortune betting $100 on the 20 to 1 odd horse named Lady Love. While it's true you could be a winner that day, you will undoubtedly wind up with a loser of an anniversary (and Lady Love will turn into Lady "My Mom Was Right About You").

7) Dining In - Perhaps the worst option on this list is to not go anywhere at all. Maybe you figure dining in is romantic and affordable, but most likely you just forgot your anniversary and made no plans. Sure you try to recover by telling your bride that it was your plan all along to dine in and you're going to make her a romantic meal. Unfortunately, your candlelit dinner consists of a birthday candle (the only one you could find lying around), rice pilaf from somewhere in the back of the pantry, and a couple pieces of chicken that you're crossing your fingers are still good since they've been in the fridge for 6 months already.