1) Because you hope that it will make it harder for your children to find you.

2) Because changing your name to Froot Loops will make everyone instinctively know that you're both interesting and delicious.

3) Because for some reason your parents had no idea that Dick is short for Richard when they named you Richard Licker.

4) Because you want to be the first person that shows up when you Google yourself and it's a bit hard to crack the top 10 when your name is something common like John Smith.

5) Because although you're 5'8, everyone asks for your autograph when they hear that your name is Shaquille O'Neal.

6) Because you've always wanted to be known by your original AOL screen name "Hot4U2."

7) Because although you never want to be a father, you still think it'd be cool to have the suffix Sr. with your name.