1) As usual, the Democrats and Republicans cannot agree on the Mayan prediction. Depending on your party affiliation, you either believe the Apocalypse will occur sometime in 2014 or already occurred in 2009.

2) In 2010, British recording artist Jay Sean released his hit song "2012 (It Ain't the End)." If you can't trust marginally talented pop singers to be top-notch prognosticators, then who can you trust?

3) The Mayans were big proponents on human sacrifice. In some Mayan rituals, victims were killed by having their arms and legs bound while a Mayan priest sliced the victim's chest open and tore out his heart as an offering. I totally saw that in Temple of Doom and Indiana whooped that guy's ass. U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! ... Okay that's not really a great argument. Moving on.

4) It's obvious that the Mayans knew their popularity would be waning by 2012 so they came up with a doomsday prediction to put them "back in the spotlight."

5) Unlike Flavor Flav, the Mayans did not wear a huge clock around their necks. Expert chronologists know this to be the only accurate way to predict future events.

6) To cover their bases, the Mayans wrote the hit song "1999" for Prince and oops, that prediction was wrong too (plus they're still in a legal battle over royalties for that song which we doubt will be decided prior to 2013). Just wait until Justin Bieber debuts his new hit "We're All Going to Die in a Violent Manner in 2016!"

7) 63.74% of Mayans were dyslexic. We're all completely safe until 2102!