1) You challenged Jeff Probst to winner-takes-all "Pants Off Dance Off."

2) You described in detail, 5 orifices you would gladly hide the Immunity Idol.

3) You proclaimed that if chosen, you'll be the first trilingual and trisexual contestant.

4) You slowly devoured a baby seal's head to prove you can survive on just about anything.

5) You requested that due to your current incarceration, they tape the show in your cell block.

6) You agreed to forgo the million dollar prize if they would instead pay you in Himalayan yak testicles.

7) You stated that much like Paris Hilton, you also cannot determine the difference between cocaine and gum and then proceeded to snort an entire package of Big League Chew.