1) David "Papi" Ortiz discovered that Pedro Martinez was wrong and the Rays are in fact their daddy.

2) They started drinking their celebratory champagne at the end of August and forgot to stop drinking throughout the month of September.

3) Remnants of Johnny Damon's beard from the time when he was with the Red Sox gave the team lice.

4) They traded for Erik Bedard (as the Mariners learned a few years ago, trading for Bedard is asking for trouble).

5) After the Green Monster received its monthly sacrifice, he cursed the team after Carl Crawford sacrificed a whore instead of a virgin.

6) Theo Epstein made his players watch him pole dance on the Pesky Pole and they couldn't get the image out of their heads.

7) Terry Francona instituted "tickle nights" for September and the team couldn't get a good night's rest with Papelbon around.