1) That sale on day-old crack was too hard to resist.

2) Your new pet badger is hogging all of your pillows!

3) You've been snorting cappuccino like it's going out of style.

4) The voices in your head insist that you watch the ShamWow infomercial one more time.

5) Falling asleep in a pile of your own vomit is suddenly not as fun as it was in college.

6) Despite it tasting like radioactive rat piss, those 5-Hour Energy drinks are just too much fun to resist.

7) You thought Sominex pills were to be taken rectally.