1) It's found that ACORN helps suicide bombers cheat on their taxes.

2) Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announces that his favorite meal is matzah ball soup

3) The Republicans and Democrats vote unanimously in favor of a specific healthcare reform bill.

4) The Cubs and the Royals meet in the World Series.

5) Barack Obama buys Glenn Beck's latest book and put it on his "must-read" list for Americans.

6) Oprah Winfrey visits Tom Cruise's house and jumps up and down on his couch.

7) The government comes up with a Cash for Sneakers program, whereby if you trade-in a pair of used shoes for two pairs of Nike Air Jordans you're entitled to a 35% rebate. The sneakers that you're trading in must have excessive wear that includes a hole in the toe and a slight stench caused by foot odor.