1) Instead of receiving a dozen long-stemm roses you receive a dozen longhorn steer.

2) Your secret admirer turns out to be Dr. Phil.

3) Your romantic Valentine's dinner is at a place where you're asked "Would you like fries with that?"

4) Your box of chocolates turns out to be chocolate covered grasshoppers.

5) You discover that your boyfriend is your long-lost cousin, which totally isn't cool since you're not from Kentucky.

6) You accidentally send the love note meant for your hunky co-worker to your boss.

7) You receive a love note from a secret admirer that says, "You're so beautiful... I'd love to wear your skin as a coat so I can feel even closer to you."