1) You ask short men if they will show you their pot of gold.

2) You run around naked with the hopes that someone will pinch you because you're not wearing green.

3) You approach women and ask if they'd like to see your "lucky charms."

4) Though you're quite straight, you feel compelled to kiss other men if they're wearing "kiss me, I'm Irish" shirts.

5) You give your dog a lap dance.

6) After downing 12 green beers, your underwear are now green though they weren't at the beginning of the night.

7) Every time you're introduced to someone you sing "Danny Boy" even if their name isn't Danny.