1) When you ask to see what the dinner specials are, he drops his pants, grabs his crotch and says "I've got something special right here."

2) When you order a few margaritas for you and your date, he blurts out "If you keep drinking, maybe she won't look so repulsive by the end of the night."

3) You ask what he recommends off the menu and he barks "Grow some balls and make a decision for yourself!"

4) Your appetizers arrive cold and he warns "If this affects my tip, I'll bitch slap you to the curb."

5) He informs you that since your entrée was very hot, he spit on it "to cool it down a touch."

6) He agrees that your food took forever to arrive, but also states that it wasn't his fault since he was "pinching off a huge deuce," in the bathroom.

7) He shows you the dessert menu, but advises "Judging by the size of your ass, I think you should probably lay off the sweets."