1) "My positive steroid test was caused by prescription medicine. I told my Doctor that I needed to hit more home runs, but I had no idea he was giving me performance enhancing drugs. I figured it was a protein shake - the injectable kind." - Manny Ramirez

2) "I may have urinated on some girls, but what you don't realize is that I let them urinate on me, too. It was all fair and legit." - R. Kelly

3) "I admit that I cheated on my wife, but it really wasn't sexual. I was just really, really bored." - John Edwards

4) "Alex Rodriguez treated me like a bad little girl; he sent me to bed without ice cream." - Madonna

5) "I don't ask a Magic 8 Ball for advice, I ask my favorite bobble head. The great thing is that he always agrees with me." - Steve Buscemi

6) "I prefer to kick ass by boring my enemy to death." - Steven Seagal

7) "My friends, I can teach you how to make more friends. Buy my book for $19.95 and you will have more friends than you ever dreamed possible. My friends highly recommend it." - John McCain