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Home arrow The Wicked 7 arrow The Wicked 7 arrow 7 Things That Should Be Banned for Public Safety
7 Things That Should Be Banned for Public Safety Print
Written by Rob Roete   
Jan 16, 2013 at 07:59 PM

Wicked 7

1) Shoes - What do most violent crimes have in common? No, it's not guns, knives, or baseball bats, it's shoes. Most violent crimes, including homicides, are committed by people wearing shoes and that's a fact.

2) Cars - Most DUI arrests and hit and run accidents involve automobiles. Banning them will save thousands of lives a year (children, adults, and seniors) and prevent many unnecessary injuries (and lines at the DMV).

3) Alcohol - While it's true that people that are drunk often do funny things, they also do stupid things. And if you ban shoes and cars people will probably get depressed and turn to drinking which will cause more injuries than the shoes and cars did in the first place.

4) Money - Finances are a huge cause of divorce and depression which may lead to suicide. Banning money will solve the issue.

5) Work - Aside from money, work often causes stress within relationships and also causes people to go "postal." While there's less risk of violent rampages now that shoes, cars, alcohol, and money have been banned, nothing's to prevent someone from suffocating their boss with a pillow...

6) Pillows - No one really knows how many deaths are caused each year by pillows (most likely because they're used to suffocate people in an undetectable way), but obviously people will turn to them once the aforementioned items and activities have been banned.

7) Sex - What causes birth defects, infidelity in marriages, and HIV? Sex! Banning sex, while difficult, will be quite easy once pillows are banned.

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