1) Try to avoid listing your middle school accomplishments.

2) Do not list your physical attributes.

3) Do not list your batting average from Little League.

4) Avoid mentioning that you will "do anything" for the job.

5) Do not mention that your previous boss was an SOB and drove you crazy.

6) Avoid using "office clown" as one of your job duties at your previous employer (unless you were, in fact, a clown).

7) Never type "your" unless you're sure that it shouldn't be "you're." Ya heard?