1) No offense, but you smell worse than a pack of wild elephants.

2) No offense, but you are grossly overweight.

3) No offense, but if we have sex I would have to put a bag over your head.

4) No offense, but the sound of your voice makes me want to commit suicide.

5) No offense, but are you as dumb as you sound?

6) No offense, but when kids see you do they run away scared?

7) No offense, but that was a tasty meal.