1) Well sir, if you'd just shut up for a minute, I could give you that answer.

2) I refuse to give you a refund because I'm racist.

3) No, you can't speak to my boss because he only speaks to non-mongoloids.

4) Ma'am, I'd rather rape an infant than help you with your invoice.

5) Considering this call is not being recorded for quality assurance, I hope you go fuck yourself.

6) Even if I could help you, I wouldn't because that would take way too much effort.

7) Please allow me to put you on hold while I masturbate.