1) "I wonder if the safety lock is on."

2) "Wow, my a** is really on fire."

3) "Everybody calm down! All I have to do is snip the red wire."

4) "Officer, you can try to stop me if you like, but good luck."

5) "I wish I hadn't had any kids."

6) "Don't worry, I don't think the bear will attack if I tickle it."

7) "I'm pretty sure that sharks only attack in fresh water."