1) What kind of crappy breast milk have you been feeding me?

2) When you and daddy make love, please make sure the baby monitors aren't reversed; I'll never get those sounds out of my head.

3) Does mom know that you've been cheating on her with the nanny?

4) I've got a big surprise for you in my diaper.

5) I think I'm gay.

6) I will murder, absolutely murder, the next person that pinches my cheeks.

7) Have you guys been licking my diaper, because your breath really stinks.