1) "I thought you had to have an IQ over 45 to carry a gun? Did they make an exception for you?"

2) "How many donuts is it going to take to get me out of this ticket?"

3) "I'm a firm believer that two wrongs don't make a right, so since you had to break the speed limit to catch up to me, let's call it even."

4) "I love two pigs in a blanket, so why don't you call your cute partner over here and let's get cookin'."

5) "I'll let you take a hit from my bong if you let me out of this ticket."

6) "How about if instead of blowing into that breathalyzer you let me blow onto something else?"

7) "You're the tastiest piece of bacon that I've ever seen."