1) When girlfriend #3 went $300 over on her cell phone bill. - She was a bitch.

2) When my family gave my Labrador away. - She was a good dog.

3) When the '04-'05 Arizona Wildcats basketball team blew a 15-point lead with 4 minutes to go in the Elite 8. - They sucked.

4) When girlfriend #1 cheated on me. - She was a bitch.

5) When Taco Bell charged me an additional $0.50 for extra tomatoes after I had requested "no tomatoes." - They suck, but I love them (much like a battered woman still loves her boyfriend).

6) The time I watched Butterfly Effect at the movie theatre and a group of idiots wouldn't shut up. - They were jerks.

7) When my ex forgot my birthday. - She was a bitch (but hot!).