1) "I love you...you love me". Barney the Dinosaur never got enough credit for this amazing song. I rock it on my way to work every day!

2) "I love you-nitards." Do they show your junk in an embarrassing way? Yes. Am I cool with that? Yes. Especially when I ball up two pairs of socks in the crotch region.

3) "I love you-nibrows." Ukrainian men sport them all the time and hey, Ukraine is the second largest contiguous country on the European continent. Surely that's got to mean that they're abstaining from man-scaping for a pretty damn good reason!

4) "I love you... man." I don't think you personally are a man, at least I hope not. If you are, you're like a master of tucking in your junk. I'm obviously referring to the Paul Rudd flick from 2009. It grossed $91,636,986, so you know, that's a lot of money and stuff.

5) "I love... Yuniesky Betancort of the Milwaukee Brewers. When it comes to marginal hitting shortstops, I'm not sure you can find a better player hailing from Santa Clara, Cuba. I mean try it! See, I was right.

6) "I love.....you in Bizarro World. Remember when the "Justice League of America" cartoon travels to that planet where everything is backwards. Technically that would mean I hate you, but I don't and um... to keep in that same genre, I totally don't want some beer! Ya' get it? So let's drink up, homie.

7) "I love.....Eubanks. Bob friggin' Eubanks was a helluva good host of "The Newlywed Game"... which we could go on together. Provided of course you don't get fat.